Thursday, May 27, 2010

one stitch at a time

Take your needle, my child, and work at your pattern; it will come out a rose by and by. Life is like that; one stitch at a time taken patiently, and the pattern will come out all right, like embroidery.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes


I am trying desperately to take each day as it comes,
one foot in front of the other…
willing myself to keep moving forward.

Each day, we choose to keep moving forward
to take our needle,
to work at the pattern,
to follow God’s direction.

It is only in heaven that we see
the masterful embroidery of our lives,
that God had planned for us.

Each day we choose to sew.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Kids ROCK

I learned two new things about my children last night.
     1. Noah is a natural at the drums
     2. Amelia hates them

Our neighbors ROCK, literally.

Last night Rusty (our rockin' neighbor)
let Noah ‘play’ his drum set.
He loved it. Amelia didn’t.
I guess she could have been grooving along to the music…
but it felt a bit more like leaps to me. ;)

I am constantly amazed by my children.
They are so full of life and fearless.
They praise the Lord so simply and honestly
with their joy and music!
I think I remember that feeling…

The doctors have told us that Amelia cannot hear,
cannot feel (the way we do), and cannot see.
I guess they have never heard my son play the drums.

Amelia, my perfect daughter, has heard him play the drums,
and I couldn’t be any prouder of my babies.



They asked Jesus, “Do you hear what these children are saying?”
“Yes,” Jesus replied. “Haven’t you ever read the Scriptures? For they say, ‘You have taught children and infants to give you praise.’” Matthew 21:16

 
At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. "All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:25-30

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

"Pain" The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

"And a woman spoke, saying, 'Tell us of Pain.'"
And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life,
your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips,
has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears."

Monday, May 24, 2010

When God Calls Little Children - A gift

click on this image to enlarge it!

Thanks Aunt Eileen! I have no words - Gorgeous!

When God calls little children to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold,
So he picks a little rosebud before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, so He takes but a few
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still, somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be “goodbye.”
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children…Angels are hard to find.

Amelia's Cousins (and brother)

Jessie's Graduation May 2010
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Saturday, May 22, 2010

One Voice.

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:12-16


Back in my college days, when I told my parents I intended to add Women's Studies as a second major I can't be sure, but I imagine the thought, what in the heck for, crossed their minds. I don't even really want to know the parental panic that ensued when I later told them that I had accepted an internship with the ACLU!
 
In high school I remember being told that I was "the most liberal Republican my Economics teacher had ever met." I'm still not sure if that was meant to be a compliment, statement of perplexion, or as a gentle way of saying I must be a very confused girl...
 
I suppose, on the outside looking in, many of the things I have fought or advocated for have seemed beyond the bounds of my faith or mismatched with my fiscally conservative political views.
 
Can a feminist believe in a male god? Can an advocate for women oppose abortion? Do Christians advocate for human & civil rights - even for gay people? How does this all ad up? Where does she really stand and how the heck did she get from one point to the other without denying her God, her politics and her heart?
 
Maybe I am just a misfit?
 
I am a Christian wife and mother. I am a feminist. I believe in people; not issues.
 
I believe that the heart of what I learned (and what drew me to) Women's Studies, was to be an advocate for those who have no voice, or who's voice has been unvalued, unprotected and even silenced.
 
As an advocate for women who have been silenced,
and as the mother of Amelia,
I hear the voiceless, and I am called to action,
called to advocacy.
 
Advocacy for the unborn child.
Advocacy for that child's mother.
Advocacy for that child's father.
 
We live in a fallen world.
A world where people point fingers rather than offer a hand.
A world where whispers of gossip resound
and whispers of Hope and Love remain unspoken.
A world where people suffer alone
and others let them remain, alone.
 
There is much work to be done.
 
I have chosen to start here, with Amelia's blog.
I will be her voice,
but He will be our strength.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Friday, May 21, 2010

Amelia's Legacy

"to have her welfare ever at heart that she may be a symphony of high purpose and helpfulness in which there is no discordant note." - Chi Omega Symphony & Creed

When Tim and I were interviewed a few weeks ago for an article about Amelia in the Opinion-Tribune  we were asked what we hoped Amelia's legacy would be. At the time I hadn't thought much about her legacy. As time passes and her purposes here on this earth become evident through the people whose lives she is touching, her legacy has also begun to unfold before our eyes...it is a beautiful legacy.

It is love,
a gift from her father in heaven, to all of us here waiting on earth.

Amelia means a lot of things to a lot of people.
To me she is so many beautiful things.

She is Love, Music, Grace, Hope, Power,
a Daughter, a Sister, a Friend, a Child of God, a Blessing
She is my heart.

She is the melody of the symphony of motherhood.


I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

selected lyrics from "Legacy" - Nichole Nordeman

FYI you can read the Opinion-Tribune articles about Amelia referenced in this entry by clicking on the News Articles page in the blog header!
 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ultrasound Update

As you can see by the ultrasound pictures below, we had an appointment with Dr. Barsoom again on Wednesday afternoon. It has only been 2 weeks since we saw Amelia last, but Tim and I are sure that she has grown! She looked so big! She was her usual self, and again stuck her tongue out at the little strawberry blond nurse that did our ultrasound. Though she didn't stick her tongue out at Dr. Barsoom...smart girl.

It was bittersweet to watch her, studying her perfect feet, hands, arms, legs...

As we get more familiar with what we are seeing on the screen it has become painfully clear to us that she has just one fatal imperfection. It is one thing to be told your daughter has anencephaly, and a complete other to see for yourself.

The fluid still looks good and is "measuring within normal range." So, I am very pleased about that! As our appointment came to a close, Dr. Barsoom helped me to my feet, removed his surgical glove, clasped his hands together in front of his chest and said the phrase I've come to know all to well,

"Everything looks stable."

It is an appropriate statement. Direct, honest -- very Dr. Barsoom. But I just can't help it....every time he says those 3 words; it stings a little (well a lot actually). I don't know what I would rather he say? "Everything looks fine," would be wildly inaccurate....
everything is clearly not fine.

As he walked out the door, we thanked him and he said, "It’s good to see you smiling."

Was I smiling?!? You bet I was! I just had just seen the most beautiful little girl, my little girl, again. In the midst of the sadness we carry, we are so washed over with joy...how can I keep from smiling?



How Can I Keep From Singing

My life goes on in endless song
Above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear it's music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness 'round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging,
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile,
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

29 weeks 2 days

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Ki-pat's feather

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31


I'm still thinking of Ki-pat's feather.
But today, I am thinking of that feather on the wings of an eagle, on the wings of an angel.

Today we see Dr. Barsoom, which means we see our darling baby girl on the "big screen!"
Counting down the minutes until I see her again...


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

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the big black cloud

This is Ki-pat
  who watched his herd
As he stood on one leg,
  like the big stork bird;
Ki-pat, whose cows
  were so hungry and dry,
They mooed for the rain
  to fall from the sky;
To green up the grass,
  all brown and dead,
That needed the rain
  from the cloud overhead—
The big, black cloud
  all heavy with rain,
That shadowed the ground
  on Kapiti Plain.

Bringing the Rain to Kapiti Plain
By Verna Aardema


Many of the days following Amelia’s diagnosis, I have felt as if there is a big black cloud, all heavy with rain, looming above us. We know the rain is coming, we can feel the storms brewing, and all we know to do is to bunker down and wait out the storm. This morning as I felt again the clouds gathering above, I thought of Ki-pat and his feather that helped to change the weather.

For those of you who know the story, you will remember that Ki-pat made an arrow from his feather and shot it into the cloud to release the rain. His cows, the grass and Ki-pat could not wait any longer for the rains to come.

Patience has never been a virtue of mine.
And still, I will wait for the rain.


But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
Isaiah 43:1-3

Monday, May 17, 2010

pair of verses that touched me

My enemy has chased me.
He has knocked me to the ground
and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
I am losing all hope;
I am paralyzed with fear.
Psalm 143:3-4

Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:23-26

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Friday, May 14, 2010

An impossible situation

An impossible situation, that's what were in.

It is impossible for our sweet daughter to live. It is impossible that the doctors are wrong. It is impossible to heal her. Yet, she is alive and well with us right now, wiggling away, dancing to music and kicking her legs every time I eat something crunchy. And still, miraculous work is being done in her by the great Physician who heals all wounds.

An impossible situation, that's what were in.

If you would have asked me 8 weeks ago if I would still be breathing if someone told me my baby was not going to live, I would have said, impossible, there is no way I could go on. Yet here I am, still standing, still smiling, and still praising our Lord for the life he has given my baby girl. God is impossibly good.

An impossible situation, that's what were in.

My little church is facing some serious decisions about the direction in which we should turn ourselves. There are doubts and fears looming heavy over our pews. "We can't," "it won't work," and "we've tried that's" seem louder than our hopes. Yet, we prayed for God to lead us, to use us and guide us in serving him. Have we been given the help for which we asked, but are to afraid, to tired and to sure of our limits to go where God is sending us?

An impossible situation, that's what were in.

I am tired, I am afraid. I am faced with the impossible,
have you been where I am?
Does it all seem impossible for you?

That's because it is impossible - for us.

.............................................................
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Luke 18:27 
 
  He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

For the world is full of zanies and fools
Who don't believe in sensible rules
And won't believe what sensible people say
And because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes
keep building up Impossible hopes
Impossible things are happening every day!
Lyrics from 'Impossible'
- Rodgers And Hammerstein's Cinderella
 
 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

bring on the rain

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:23-26 (New Living Translation)


Another rainy day today...

Strings of rainy days leave me questioning why it is so difficult to embrace rainy day, after rainy day. How many rainy days can a person take?!? I am painfully aware that the earth needs a rainy day (or 2, or 3...) and that the rain has a purpose. I also know that it will not rain forever.

Eventually the sun will shine and Noah's sad pleas at our back door will shift from "ray-ning" to persistent tugs to go "ou-side...pease."

How different it would be if we didn't believe the rain would end. How strange to never see a rainbow or feel the sun on your face ever again...

But we know, don't we? We know we will see the sun again.



I have placed my rainbow in the clouds. It is the sign of my covenant with you and with all the earth. When I send clouds over the earth, the rainbow will appear in the clouds, and I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures. Genesis 9:13-15

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

good and perfect gifts

One of my absolute favorite parts of being Noah's Mommy and now Amelia's is watching him grow and seeing the gifts God gave him emerge. In turn, recognizing our children's gifts and cultivating those gifts is one of the most challenging pieces of parenting.

In our 20 week ultrasound, when I was pregnant with Noah, I actually asked the technician (while she was looking at Noah's brain) if she could tell if he was left handed. To be honest, I think the question surprised and slightly offended her...I mean who cares if their kid is left handed?!? Who? - New parents that love baseball and dream of their little boy pitching in the big leagues...silly inexperienced parents, that's who!

I do not mean to say it is wrong for parents to have high hopes and dreams for their children...only that focusing on the gifts you want your children to have, rather than the gifts that are unique to them may not be the best approach. An obvious concept to seasoned parents, but fairly new to me.

As it turns out, Noah is right handed. He does however have a pretty decent arm (compared to other 21 mo kiddos I've scouted). A fact that thrills his baseball loving parents and has prompted the removal of all things breakable in our home. But, he also loves animals, running circles around and playing jokes on his parents. He likes to read, dance and sing. He is aggressive and happy. He loves nutra-grain bars, ice cream and his blankee. He is clever and cute and manipulative. (A dangerous combination!!) He is a lot of things that I didn't dream he'd be and I love it!

I had dreams for Amelia too. Dreams of dance lessons and school recitals, softball games and hair bows. I had dreams for her; but God has plans for her much greater than I had imagined. She has special gifts that I may never see and gifts I already know. She is strong and silly and playful. She is filled with life...

My children are special. They are unique and God has given them very special gifts. My cup overflows.

May God grant us the ability to see the gifts he has bestowed in all children. Give us the patience to discover those gifts, to encourage and guide our children. Help us to take the time to know them as our Father knows us.

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

not ready

I have memories of this point in my pregnancy with Noah. They are memories of what is often referred to in child birth education classes and texts as nesting. I call it Mamma Bear Panic. I have vague memories of the exact moments of panic (Tim can probably remember better than I!), but I do remember my thoughts and prayers always included..."Dear Lord, HELP, I'm not ready!"

I thought this pregnancy would be different. I am, after all, an experienced Mother. I've bought all the stuff, done the nursing thing, pulled off the late nights, slept in a chair all night with a sick baby, installed a car seat...this time I thought only minimal panic would ensue at an unclean house or a partially packed hospital bag, but surely this time I would not find myself making the same plea..."Dear Lord, HELP, I'm not ready!"

I am just over 28 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy, I have already prayed/panicked more times than I can count, "Dear Lord, HELP, I'm not ready!" But this time, it is not over outfits or feeding supplies, a painted nursery or assembled crib, car seats or a packed hospital bag. There will be nothing left undone that must be done. And still I know, this time I will not be ready to go to the hospital.

I will never be ready to go to the hospital; never be ready to say goodbye to my sweet Amelia.

I will pray. I will prepare. The time will come but, I will not be ready.


Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.
~Graycie Harmon

Friday, May 07, 2010

angel baby

Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. Matthew 12:24-25

I have been thinking a lot about what it will be like for Amelia when she heads home to heaven and in turn, what it will be like to see her in heaven when I get there...

I often refer to Amelia as my angel baby. At this point, since she is very much alive, I call her my angel baby because I feel she has been sent to me and though I can not "see" her I am assured of her presence...which does in deed remind me of an angel. It is a term of endearment to call her angel baby. But I wonder, when she leaves our arms for the arms of her heavenly father should I still call her my angel baby? Are we angels in heaven or are we just people in heaven?

Honestly, I have not thought in depth about angels until now...



After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. And they were shouting with a mighty shout,“Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb!”

And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living beings. And they fell before the throne with their faces to the ground and worshiped God.They sang,“Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and strength belong to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

Then one of the twenty-four elders asked me, “Who are these who are clothed in white? Where did they come from?” And I said to him, “Sir, you are the one who knows.”

Then he said to me, “These are the ones who died in the great tribulation. They have washed their robes in the blood of the Lamb and made them white.“That is why they stand in front of God’s throne and serve him day and night in his Temple. And he who sits on the throne will give them shelter. They will never again be hungry or thirsty; they will never be scorched by the heat of the sun. For the Lamb on the throne will be their Shepherd. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water. And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”
Revelation 7:9-17

Thursday, May 06, 2010

tears and hope

When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126

I got the call yesterday from my OB's office. I again have gestational diabetes. I'm not going to lie, when I got off the phone with his office I just started to cry. I truly thought I wasn't going to have to deal with that this pregnancy. I think the tears were waiting, and the disappointment just opened the gates. Yet, as always, the tears were few and the joys abundant.

We have been flooded with kind notes and words from people who read about our precious baby girl in Wednesday's Opinion-Tribune and were touched by our story. We appreciate every effort to extend your thoughts and prayers to our family. We are touched by you.

There are days when God chooses to reveal pieces of his purpose, his intentions to use Amelia and our family for the good of all those he loves. I don't think we will (in this life) see all the ways in which God has used us to do his work but, I am so grateful to see in part the fruits of his work through us, in you.

God is good, all the time.



Wednesday, May 05, 2010

1 Samuel 1:26-28

and she said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."
And he worshiped the LORD there.
1 Samuel 1:26-28


Tuesday, May 04, 2010

27 Weeks

We had 2 doctor appointments yesterday. One with our OB Dr. Kirsch and the other with the Director of Maternal-Fetal Medicine Dr. Barsoom (I actually call him Super Doc for short...I hope he doesn't mind the promotion!)

Have I already mentioned how lucky I am to have such awesome doctors?!?

Anyway, Dr. Kirsch was a regular appointment which included every mommy's favorite orange drink...the glucose screen. I should find out within a week if I, yet again, have gestational diabetes. Other than that it was routine. We got to hear Amelia's heartbeat again. As always it was GORGEOUS!!!! When we finished up there we headed over to Bergan for our appointment with Dr. Barsoom.

The appointment with Dr. Barsoom was mainly to check the level of amniotic fluid surrounding Amelia. With anencephalic pregnancies there is an increased risk of polyhydramnios (a condition in which there is too much amniotic fluid). So far my fluid levels are "within normal range" for my purposes we will just say I am perfectly full! The best part of the appointment was getting to see my little princess squirm on the "big screen." I love ultrasounds!

Amelia wiggled away on camera. She did her best to cover her face - I am calling it peek-a-boo (I think she may have been slightly annoyed with us). We did get to watch her suck her thumb...just before sticking her tongue out at us, kick her feet, reach for her toes and open and close her mouth. She is sooo cute!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16 (New International Version)

Monday, May 03, 2010

Ultrasound Pictures


Hint: If you click on the image it will open in a new window...big enough for you to see! :)

Mother's Day (Yesterday & Sunday)

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:1-3

For all the Mommy's of angel babies I have met, who have shared their story, and have kissed the face of an angel.
Happy Mother's Day.



Saturday, May 01, 2010

about your Father

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. Clarence Budington Kelland


Dearest Amelia,
 
There is someone I want you to know, he is your father. When I tell you he is amazing, it is only because I don't have fitting words to describe him to you. Even as I write this I am filled with a peace I can't explain. Filled with peace because deep in my soul I know that you already know him and have felt his presence.
 
His hands are strong and gentle. They have held you all along.
 
He loves you as only a father can, because he loves you with an everlasting love.
 
You are his treasured possession. His beloved.
 
He will wipe every tear from your eyes, 'cause that's what the best Daddy's do.
 
and most importantly my sweet baby...know that nothing will ever separate you from his love.
 
And that brings me to the most awesome part of it all;
yes baby girl there is more.
You have more than one father loving you.
I can understand how you could hardly believe it's true
you have one father here on earth and one in heaven too!
and what I want to say precious daughter, what I want you to know
so you have no worry or fear
is that they are both here waiting for you.
 
Mommy