In this very room...

Today would have been Amelia's baptism day.

One of the most difficult parts of losing Amelia
are the "if she was here now" moments.
These moments often catch me off guard.
Today was no different.

Almost as if I were marking the day
I wore the dress
I bought for her funeral to church today.
Maybe I'd have purchased the same dress for her baptism day
had things ended up differently.

It is probably no surprise to those who know me well,
that I had already begun a spreadsheet
and several documents detailing plans for Amelia's baptism
in the weeks before her diagnosis.
Sponsors had been chosen, though not formally asked.
Tim and I had already begun discussing what meat to serve.
I had a vision for the cake.
I had chosen her gown...

As it was,
Amelia Grace Lorang
was baptized on on Wednesday morning
at Bergan Mercy Hospital
in an OR suite.

It was not the day I thought it would be.
But it was the day God had in mind,
and his plans are perfect.
Sometimes pain filled, but always perfect.

the day,
the daughter,
the reunion,
all perfect.

Jesus said,

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,

for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Matthew 19:14