when sadness creeps in...

Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,“Where is this God of yours?” My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks amid the sound of a great celebration! Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again-my Savior and my God!

Psalm 42:3-6 (New Living Translation)

25 weeks pregnant as of Sunday. 25 weeks. 175 days. 4,200 hours. Amelia’s life so far has spanned such a short amount of time.

I have tried to focus on making the most of Amelia’s short life rather than dwelling on what she will miss out on. She is going to miss her first birthday, her first tooth, her first steps, her first boyfriend, her confirmation, her high school graduation…but she will be somewhere better.

I recently read bits of one father’s story about his son Chase that moved me, and echoed some (not all) of the thoughts I have had in regards to honoring, protecting and sharing Amelia’s life as a gift of God.
I refuse to waste her life.

You can read more about Chase and his parents’ story at http://www.anencephalie-info.org/e/chase.php
I hope they don’t mind me using their words here to relay thoughts about our angel baby’s life:

We will waste Amelia’s life if we do not believe that our suffering is allowed by God for our good and His glory.


We will waste Amelia’s life if in our time of affliction we distance ourselves from God instead of drawing near to Him.


We will waste Amelia's life if we are more aware of how difficult this trial is instead of being focused Christ and His all-sufficient grace.


We will waste Amelia’s life if we saturate our minds with thoughts of self, or this birth defect instead of the Christ exalting, faith producing, heart transforming, Word of God.


Will Waste Amelia's Life If We Grieve as Those Who Have No Hope.