Thursday, April 22, 2010

I love Amelia.

Excerpts from Matthew 18

The Greatest in the Kingdom
About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

“And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me."

“Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father."

Parable of the Lost Sheep
“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish."


I suppose I will always shudder when I think back on those first days following Amelia's diagnosis.
Not because of the weight of her diagnosis and not because of the shock of facing my daughter’s impending death, but because I considered, seriously considered, ending Amelia's life. I can hardly stand to type it without feeling my throat tighten and the burn of oncoming tears.
Before Amelia I'd say, although I never thought abortion would be an option for me, I could see instances in which, legally speaking, I felt there was value in protecting a woman's right to choose. I have often become infuriated at the tactics used by the extreme pro-life groups, but yet never felt fully comfortable with any type of legalized abortion.
For those of you who don't know, I double majored at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. One of my majors was Women's Studies. Yes, I do consider myself a feminist; a title that holds varied meaning for people. I typically do not have a problem choosing a side or making a stand on varied issues. This issue, I believe, is one of the most heated, emotional charged and unsettling of any of the political issues of our time. I feel I am now ready, where I have in the past hesitated, to take a stand.
I am Pro-Love.
I will fight for my unborn daughter and I will trust my Lord's plan.
I love my daughter. My husband loves our daughter. We loved her before we were pregnant, we loved her at the moment we found out we were pregnant and ABSOLUTELY we loved her when we were told that she had a fatal birth defect. We are her parents. We have been given the responsibility to care for, protect and love her. I would do anything for my daughter.

That's it, that's all there is to it. It is that simple. I love Amelia.
But there is one LOVE that I know that is deeper, eternal love. God's love. He is the only person who loves Amelia; loves each and every child conceived, more than I do.
He is the leader of the Pro-Love movement, and I will follow him anywhere.


Unknown said...

Amen!!! That was beautifully written. Thank you!

love and prayers

bethany actually said...

Melissa, you've left me in tears again. That last line is brilliant in its truth!

Also, I wanted to tell you that a good friend of mine, Rebekah, has mentioned to me several times how glad she is that I shared your blog with her. She has another friend whose cousin is in the same situation as you, and she was able to share your blog with that friend. Her cousin chose to have an abortion, but your blog has been preaching the gospel to her all along! Rebekah says your posts are better than many sermons she's heard. So thank you again!

Unknown said...

I've actually had the experience of having an abortion when I was 19 and I have said that I will never have another even if it means my own life. That's how much it deeply affected me. It left a giant scar on my life even though God has healed me. It was why I never considered terminating my pregnancy with Carleigh.

The days after the diagnosis can be diffcult. Many doctors push termination. I am glad that you took the time to think and that you did not choose to terminate, for your life will be greatly blessed by the journey you are now on.

God's love is so abundant! It can be hard to fathom the deep love He has for us because it is so much more than we could ever experience!