Monday, October 25, 2010

empty.

I have been feeling a bit strange this last week…

Long story short, I decided to take a pregnancy test.
While I was waiting for the results I considered the possibilities.
Would I be scared to death if it was positive?
Would I be crushed if it were negative?
Are we ready for this???

It was negative.

I found myself just as disappointed as I was relieved.
Mostly, I realized
That I felt just the same as I had before the test…
I felt just as I have since Amelia left us;
I felt
empty.

As I made my way through my Monday morning emails,
I noticed a message from Tim.
He doesn’t email me often, so I figured I had better take a peek.
He had forwarded me a daily hunting devotion he receives via email.
It always contains a bible study verse.
When I read it, I knew exactly why he had sent it to me…
So without further ado,


Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3:17-18

4 comments:

The Blue Sparrow said...

That is an amazing bible verse, I read that and it cut me to the core. It's so true, thank you for sharing this. And I'm sorry that your test was negative! (((HUGS))

elena said...

Very touching bible verse. Can definitely understand and relate to how you are feeling. Its a question that has plagued me for a couple of months now. thank you for sharing your thoughts. *hugs*

Jennifer said...

Oh sweet friend, I wished that I could give you a hug right now! I know...

Angel said...

Just wanted to let you know that there is not a day that goes by that you, your husband and sweet baby girl don't cross my mind. I check your blog often and I cry every time. I don't have the words to say but just know I pray for your family every night. Your little girl was precious and has touched so many lives in her short time here. God Bless.