Friday, January 28, 2011

6 Months Missing Amelia

Sweet Amelia,
With every month that passes since you left us 
I find myself bewildered all over again.
Has it really been 6 months since I held you?
For me time has slowed, the world goes on, 
but I can still close my eyes 
and put myself right back into that hospital room with you;
hearing your voice, kissing your cheeks.

Almost daily, I toggle between wishing that you know just how very much your daddy, brother and I miss you, and wishing...hoping that you don't know how much it hurts us that you are not here. 
Knowing you are safe and happy with Jesus is such a comfort, 
but it still so hard to go on without you.

Today I am finally getting around to mailing in the fingerprint impression we made on your birthday. I have been scared to mail it in until now for fear that something would happen to it in the mail or while being made into a charm, and it would be lost forever. I couldn't bear the idea of losing another piece of you...

But today, on your 1/2 birthday, I'm going to be strong enough. 
I'm going to let go, and pray 
this charm finds its way back to me safely.
It seems ages until I will see you again.
Oh, how I miss you sweet baby...
oh, how Mommy misses you.

I am so blessed to be your mommy.
If there is any goodness or strength in me
it is from Him, and through you.
You are the very best of me.

Sending you butterfly kisses and all of my love,
Priceless Prints

Click this image to enlarge

A Song for Amelia  
Please pause player below to listen to 
"Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle

Although this song may seem more of a lamentation,
when I hear the words of this song I find a much different message
and I see her heavenly face. 

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"
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Jennifer said...

I know today is full for you. Full of love, longing, blessed peace, and aching to hold. It is impossible to know that those things can coexist unless you are walking the road we are! Sending love and hugs your way! Remembering precious, sweet Amelia with you today!

Kara said...

Happy 1/2 Birthday to Amelia today! And big hugs to you Melissa as you reach this big milestone. That precious print memento will be so beautiful and may it find its way safely back into your hands soon!

KnottedFingers said...

happy Half birthday Amelia. I'm thinking of you please send love and kisses to your mummy

Katy Larsen said...

Happy 6 Months in Heaven sweet Amelia xoxoxo

pennynjon said...

Sorry I am late, but happy half birthday to Amelia! Huge hugs to you Melissa!

Unknown said...

Happy 6 months Amelia ♥ Thinking of you Melissa. I know the 6 month mark was prolly the toughest on me.