Amelia's day

We had an OB appointment yesterday afternoon.

For the most part it was routine;

pee in a cup, check blood pressure,

listen to that gorgeous heartbeat.

Yup, pretty normal, except one small detail.

The time had come to schedule my c-section.

For weeks choosing this date has brought an overwhelming amount of anxiety.

Largely due to the fact that while we are scheduling a day
to meet our precious Amelia face to face,

we are also choosing the day that will, more likely than not,

be the day of her death.

 

In sticking with our intention
to follow the plans we had made for Amelia before her diagnosis,

we have chosen to schedule her c-section at 39 weeks,

unless God has another day in mind,

our Amelia Grace will enter this world

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010.

 

Dr. Kirsch thinks it will be first thing in the morning.

At first I thought....well, more than likely we won't be sleeping much the night before, let alone able to sleep in, so what does it matter how early he schedules us!

But, as we left the doctors office

Tim confided that he had quietly hoped we could deliver her in late in the evening.

When I asked him why he offered up a response that I was not expecting...

He explained,
if she is born late in the day, her life might span 2 days.

I was touched in that moment in a way I cannot describe.

 

2 days.

the honor of a dash between the moments that make up her life here on earth...

What does 2 days really mean?

Does that dash really offer anymore significance to her life than a single day on her marker?

We have prayed for the time the Lord gives us with our daughter

to be peaceful and painless, however short that time may be.

We know that the Lord's plan

will be the best plan for our sweet Amelia and for our family.

 

At the end of the day, possibly the end of that day,

Amelia's life will have impacted us and countless others
in a profound way.

So profound, that it cannot be lessened by the absence of a dash on her tombstone.

Whether she is born still or stays here on earth with us for minutes, hours or days;

a dash, or lack of dash will not sum up her life.

God has used her life for so much more than a dash,

and we will rejoice in that.

 

 

Open for me the gates of righteousness;

I will enter and give thanks to the LORD. 

This is the gate of the LORD

through which the righteous may enter.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me;

you have become my salvation.

The stone the builders rejected

has become the capstone;

the LORD has done this,

and it is marvelous in our eyes.

This is the day the LORD has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:19-24