Wednesday, July 27, 2011

1 Year of Wednesdays

This week I have been bombarded with butterflies :)
and blessed with a couple very special gifts
from some amazing baby loss Mama's!

I still can't believe Amelia's birthday is here.
I will never forget July 28, 2010. It's hers.
It seems like just a moment ago I held her in my arms,
told her I loved her,
marveled at how beautiful she was,
kissed her adorable lips...
has it really been a year?
Have I been documenting my grief
and our journey for that long?
Days like today make it feel so painfully raw, real and recent.

I want to share with you 1 of the amazing gifts I received this week
from my friend in the journey, Stacy.
I know I have mentioned her and her precious Rachel here before.
When I received this package in the mail on Monday,
I hadn't even opened up the outer Amazon box before I announced to the guys
that it was a gift from Rachel's Mommy,
I just knew.

Birthday gift from Stacy and ^Rachel^
 The story behind the gift...as written by Stacy
"When I was at the hospital with my sister on the 15th, she brought me down to the gift shop to look at the willow trees to see which one I would like for my bday. I saw one I like (holding the forget-me-nots) but was wishing there was one with daisies. We went back to her room and I searched on line to see. And since I was looking at all of them, saw the one I sent you. It is called the "Freedom Angel". I immediately wanted to get it for you cause of the butterfly, but I was wishing it had a different name cause I wanted it to be more relevant for Amelia.
A couple days later in church, we sang the "Freedom Reigns" song that I have on my blog. That night as I was writing my post, "There is freedom" I thought of Amelia... and knew the name of that angel was perfect for your Angel. Here is the last 2 paragraphs from that post...
Where the Spirit of the Lord is... There is freedom...
If you're tired and thirsty... there is freedom...
Lift your eyes to heaven... there is freedom
Freedom reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace
Falling on every face... there is freedom...
give your all to Jesus... there is freedom

It is a long road, but the Lord goes before me. He alone can fill me up. When I'm tired and thirsty, when I feel the rain start coming down again, all I need to do is lift my eyes to heaven and give my all to Jesus... and the rain will reveal His showers of mercy and grace - and that is where I'll find my freedom.

It isn't freedom from the reality of my pain on earth.... that's here to stay. The freedom of the Spirit helps me to keep going... when I feel like I can't go anymore... and to hold on to the hope I have in Jesus knowing I will eventually see my girl again. It's freedom to be sad, while still genuinely thanking God for even the hardest time in my life, knowing that this is His perfect will for my life and to know that Rachel (AMELIA) was not a disappointment. Her life was everything it was meant to be. Even if some don't see it. I am so proud of her and can't wait to tell her face to face. And because of the Lord, some day I (YOU) will. And on that day, I will find my eternal freedom of pain, tears, sadness, sin and earthly trials with Him (and her) in heaven. Until then, I will lift my eyes and give my all to Jesus and find my freedom in trusting Him."




2 comments:

Stacy said...

I'm so glad you liked the gift and I feel honored that my girl is with your girl. I'm up late tonight, I'll be ringing in Amelia's birthday at midnight, I'm sure. I'll sing Happy Birthday to her when the clock strikes 12. Thinking of you and praying for you. Wish I could give you a hug.

Happy Birthday Amelia... you have changed the world. ♥

Radiant Readhead said...

happy heavenly birthday Amelia!!