Tuesday, May 17, 2011

thoughts on birthdays

In the last few weeks
three very special mothers
celebrated the 1st heavenly birthday of their sweet girls.
Each of these women belong to an Anencephaly support group for mother's choosing to carry to term that I am also a part of. I remember the birth of these beautiful girls as if it were yesterday. My tears flowed filling buckets as I mourned their loss and celebrated the blessing of their daughters brief but impact full lives, as I anticipated the birth of my own blessing, Amelia Grace.

Please join me in sending special belated birthday wishes to
Ella, Karinne and Olivia
and maybe a little prayer for their mommies too!
Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday Ella, Karinne and Olivia!

I realize to some of you who have never lost a child, that the idea of celebrating the birthday of a child in heaven might seem strange. But for many mommy's of babies in heaven, their baby's milestones, birthdays and anniversaries are a BIG deal. Whether they chose to recognize the day privately or with a public celebration such as a birthday party, mommies and daddies don't forget these special days of remembrance.

Tim and I have discussed (at length) ideas for how we intend to spend Amelia's first birthday. It may come as a surprise (or not) that initially we did not agree on much. We did decide that it would be best for our family to push back the c-section scheduling of Sam's birth from the 28th (Amelia's birthday) to the 29th. Many things factored into our decision. One of our hopes is that by doing so, we will be able to spend Amelia's birthday doing some special things together as a family.

If I had things my way, we would be having a HUGE birthday party, inviting all Amelia's family and friends to share in the festivities, including a 3 tier fondant cake, balloon release, crafts for the kids, etc...
Tim would rather not (and I totally get that!)
All of my best laid plans sound amazing in my head, but then I cringe at the thought of  people not coming to her party or dreading coming and feeling uncomfortable about a party for a dead baby. And I am brought back to the harsh reality that I am a mommy of children in heaven. So, unless someone has been just where I am; they aren't going to understand. That single fact, even though it makes me feel really lonely sometimes, also leaves me thankful. Thankful they have never had to bury a child...

Tim and I tossed around the idea of doing another blood drive similar to the drives held last June in Amelia's honor, but in the end, we decided against it.
however we have agreed,

To ask our friends and family (that's you!) to donate blood on their own in Amelia's memory anytime in the month of July. For those of you that would like to donate and are regular donors, I realize this may take some coordinating (which is why I am giving you a heads up now) but I hope you will consider it. :)  We would be honored if you would be willing to donate in her memory and let us know that you did. I can think of no better way to celebrate her life than giving life through the donation of blood.

You can call to schedule an appointment or to find a drive near you 1-800-RED-CROSS or go to www.redcrossblood.org

Greater love has no one than this:
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  
John 15:13 

6 comments:

Joanna said...

That's a really nice idea!

Kara said...

Melissa - Thanks for the sweet birthday wishes to Karinne and the other girls! I love your idea of people donating blood again in Amelia's honor. Very meaningful. And you know - with all the special things we did - it still didn't change the fact that she is gone and we miss her terribly. It was hard having a party without her there. HUGS!!!! Hopefully you can do something special close to her birthday with just you, Tim, Noah & Sam in your tummy.

bethany actually said...

I just tried to schedule a blood donation and couldn't find any drives in July in my area. Doh! I'll have to keep an eye out for one. :-)

Jennifer said...

Sweet post! Hugs to you sweet friend. I know that whatever you plan and do for Amelia will be perfect!

Holly said...

Happy birthday wishes to such sweet little baby girls <3

I think donating blood in her memory is a great idea. I don't go thru red cross but thru the community blood center in dayton but I should be able to donate in july b/c we have a drive tomorrow im registered to donate at.

Birthdays really are a big deal to those of us who lost babies. I had a big party the first year and it was disappointing to have people not come who said they would. I had to remember it wasn't about them but Carleigh and it was their loss. They missed out on something very special

elena said...

Happy Happy Birthday wishes to three beautiful babies that have impacted my life as well as many hugs to the mothers and fathers who have recently celebrated such a milestone!

We did something just us. When Lilly was born we had EVERYONE who wanted to meet her come and I felt like I wanted this just for us because there was some drama that surrounded it and I didn't want any of that on her special day.

I wish I was able to donate blood, I would in Amelia's name. *hugs*