Wednesday, November 10, 2010

15 Weeks - there were photographs I wanted to take...

Noah at 3 1/2 Months

As the weeks before Christmas pass by,
I have been faced with the annual task
of piecing together our Christmas letter to our friends and family.
Typically we take a new family picture about now to include in that letter.
This year we will not take a new family photo.

As painful as it is,
this morning I allowed myself to ponder
one of the many "what ifs"
I push aside daily
in order to get through the day without her.
I allowed myself to imagine
what our family photo might have been like
this Christmas if she were here.

I often wonder, what would she look like?
I looked back at photos of Noah
at the age she would be now...
Unfortunately, she did not look like Noah as a baby.
She far more resembled her daddy. :)

No, this November we do not need a new family photo.
And although they were taken in July -
this year we already have
the most priceless family pictures we may ever have.

Truth is,
it's next year's Christmas card I'm worried about.
I just can't stand the thought
of Amelia not being in the picture.

9 comments:

Kara said...

Ohhh - So heartwrenchingly true Melissa. I dread the idea of a new family photo without Karinne. HUG!

Jennifer said...

You speak the absolute truth! For us is was going to the beach and taking pictures. We ended up taking Eli's bear and letting the kiddos hold the bear...not the same, I know...I know...Sometimes is just makes so little sense!

AmyV said...

Love the photo of you and noah. It was nice seeing ya at the vet the other day. Im sure the family photo with amelia is bittersweet. She is a beautiful little girl. Each year maybe you can pick a special tribute for her in your photo. Its so difficult learning to live when you want to be with your daughter.

Lisette said...

This was really hard for me last year, our 1st Christmas without Sami. I included her pictures, I didn't care if that made anyone uncomfortable. This year we will take a family photo and include her bear, not the same but all my family and friends now that is her in there. I always sign my cards everything with "with love from heaven and earth." I know these holidays ahead are not easy. You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

Holly said...

Family photos are just never the same....

pennynjon said...

I love that photo of you and Noah! SO sweet. It is hard not to think about the "what ifs". ((hugs))

CynthiaS said...

beautiful picture of Noah. I hate the idea that we should be buying and coordinating 3 little dresses for Christmas pictures but only 2 are here. I am framing Olivia's hand/foot prints to somehow put into our family picture, not right in front but keeping her included.

Hannah Rose said...

There was a story I read in Dr. James Dobson's book, Bringing Up Girls. It told of a family that had 3 boys I think and one little girl that died as a baby. For their family photo, they had each family member sitting in a chair with an empty chair at the end of the row. It was heartbreaking, but so so precious. Read the letter that her father wrote of Delaney here:

http://roseandherlily.blogspot.com/2010/10/sweetness-of-little-girl.html

elena said...

It is hard not to think about the what if's, but then again its also hard to think of them. Family photos, family events, holidays, they just will never be the same as they once were. *hugs*