When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
I have returned to this text over and over again. It is one of the few "non biblical" texts that offers truth and hope in the midst of an unbearable amount of sadness.
I hurt because she is gone,
I rejoice because she was here.
which is greater?
which will I allow to overtake me
and leave me breathless?
I choose joy.
I choose Amelia.
It has been difficult to blog over the past 9 days.
I have wanted to
but all I can think to type is
it hurts so much
it hurts so, so, very much.
But there is much more to say
and so much more that I am feeling...
did you see her lips?
I have dreams about them.
They were so luscious
that we even noticed them in the ultrasounds!
Tim and I both have very thin lips.
We have no idea where they came from
but we love/d them.
Oh my, those lips.
I have never loved any lips more in my life. (sorry Tim)