"I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10b (NIV)
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20b (NIV)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28b (NIV)
Often on my journey carrying Amelia and even now, a year after losing her, people often comment on "how strong, I am" or say, "I just don't know how you did it." I've had to correct people, explaining, I am not strong, I am being strengthened. I know many of you BLM's have experienced this same thing...
The blessing I want to share with you today is a bit embarrassing for me. You see, though I have always been the church going, Jesus loving kinda' gal, I have not always made time (outside of Sundays) to be in His Word.
I think many people who grew up in a church going home, surrounded by Christ's love have made the same mistake I have in taking God's word for granted.
When we received Amelia's diagnosis, I needed to hear God's voice, more than any other time in my life. I turned to my Bible for comfort; I turned to His Word for answers. I got them.
Some days I would just open up the Bible and ask that God lead me to a verse I needed to find at that very moment (admit it...you have done it to!!!) It was silly of me, but the truth is, there was always some special nugget of truth, love or comfort at anytime when I turned to Him and relied on His promises. I surrounded myself with bible verses, posting them on my desk, carrying them in my planner...the Word was my shield. still is.
Not long after Amelia's death, I was asked to speak at an Iowa Youth Gathering. I wasn't sure I could do it. I wasn't sure what my story had to offer a group of high school aged kids. Then I found out the theme for the gathering was being In The Word and I knew exactly what the Lord was asking me to share. I hope they got the message. :)
My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.
2 Samuel 22:3 (NLT)
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Hebrews 13:20-21
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4 comments:
I've been following your blog now for about a month. Strangely enough, I followed a link I received from an email back when you were still pregnant with Amelia, when our mutual friend Bethany was sending out a prayer request for your family. I am sorry to say that I just said a quick prayer, archived the email, and moved on.
Then about a month ago I was working through cleaning out my email, something I rarely do but had way too many things to sift through. I happened upon the original prayer request and clicked through. It was what I needed now. Reading about how God is still sustaining you has been very beneficial to me, as our daughter died at 4 months of age in July. You may have received a similar prayer request email from Bethany on my behalf this spring - she's good like that. I like knowing that your Amelia and my Samantha (and her brother Jonah) are together in heaven's nursery. Just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I appreciate all that you share. God bless you.
Melissa - I remember that exact same thing in my journey. The day we went for Rachel's 2nd opinion, I started carrying my bible with me again and did for many months...until recently when I've started to pull away in my anger :o( I need to get back to basics. thanks for the reminder of how much I need God. Also, I never read other people's comments and for 'some reason' just read the one from Stephanie...wow. I don't really have any other words for that, but wow. God is good. love you.
I can relate to this! Love to you!
You are SO right!!!!!
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